Wow…. It’s already Thursday, the days are buzzing and the weeks are almost a blur. It’s amazing to me that I still manage to learn lessons everyday when everything feels like it’s moving so incredibly fast.
It’s funny…. the older I get, the more I see how precious time is and yet how much of it I have to spare. Let me explain…. I used to have a VERY unhealthy relationship with time. (I’m sure I’ve mentioned this in many a posts…) My fear of RUNNING OUT OF TIME drove my decisions, and left me in plenty o places of anxiety and never feeling like I was:
A. Doing enough
B. Being enough
C. Enough Enough
Also, I was an expert waster o time. Because of my fear of LOSING IT, or having it SLIP DOWN THE DRAIN, sometimes I would distract myself and get lost in some sort of bullshit Facebook trap or mindless dawdling. I’m sure I’m not the only one. So as my schedule has gotten a bit more cra cra (driving my stepson to and from school and being in the car 3+ hours a day), I have finally (FINALLY) recognized how absolutely PRECIOUS time is. This learning has caused me to waste less of it, and get down to business with things I WANT TO ACHIEVE IN MY LIFE.
Funny how having a busier schedule can make us chop chop a little more with things that matter. It’s all priorities people.
So for 2018, I have vowed to have a healthier relationship with TIME. I am really aware of HOW and WHEN it is not being spent the way I want.
I guess that has led me to girlfriends.
Isn’t it funny how there are some people in our lives that we are willing to MOVE our busy schedule around for, and there are others that… we just aren’t…..
I’m starting to look at all of that, even if I feel bad admitting it to myself. And you. But sometimes I find myself even saying in my head, ‘Jackie, you SHOULD see so and so or you SHOULD call so and so, I’m sure it’ll be fine.’
But the thing is,.. I don’t want fine.
Fine is having a line at the grocery store.
Fine is sitting in a meeting that went a little too long.
Since I know now that time is precious. I want to use it in a way that leaves me feeling:
I have been extremely selective with who I’ve spent time with in the past month, and I like it. I like being so over the moon excited to see someone that enriches my life so much, that I know I will walk away feeling more at peace and in a greater place of connection.
If the relationship/connection/communication is just FINE, well,.. maybe it’s just not worth my time.
Bottom line, I love Jackie time so so so much. I don’t need to spend my time with someone unless they ADD to what I already have. I think I’ve needed to write this out so I can remember to check in with myself about everything.
My time is the most valuable thing I have and I am not going to give it away.