Divine Time

Wow…. It’s already Thursday, the days are buzzing and the weeks are almost a blur. It’s amazing to me that I still manage to learn lessons everyday when everything feels like it’s moving so incredibly fast.

It’s funny…. the older I get, the more I see how precious time is and yet how much of it I have to spare. Let me explain…. I used to have a VERY unhealthy relationship with time. (I’m sure I’ve mentioned this in many a posts…) My fear of RUNNING OUT OF TIME drove my decisions, and left me in plenty o places of anxiety and never feeling like I was:
A. Doing enough
B. Being enough
C. Enough Enough

Also, I was an expert waster o time. Because of my fear of LOSING IT, or having it SLIP DOWN THE DRAIN, sometimes I would distract myself and get lost in some sort of bullshit Facebook trap or mindless dawdling. I’m sure I’m not the only one. So as my schedule has gotten a bit more cra cra (driving my stepson to and from school and being in the car 3+ hours a day), I have finally (FINALLY) recognized how absolutely PRECIOUS time is. This learning has caused me to waste less of it, and get down to business with things I WANT TO ACHIEVE IN MY LIFE.

Funny how having a busier schedule can make us chop chop a little more with things that matter. It’s all priorities people. 

So for 2018, I have vowed to have a healthier relationship with TIME. I am really aware of HOW and WHEN it is not being spent the way I want.

I guess that has led me to girlfriends. 

Isn’t it funny how there are some people in our lives that we are willing to MOVE our busy schedule around for, and there are others that… we just aren’t…..

I’m starting to look at all of that, even if I feel bad admitting it to myself. And you. But sometimes I find myself even saying in my head, ‘Jackie, you SHOULD see so and so or you SHOULD call so and so, I’m sure it’ll be fine.’

But the thing is,.. I don’t want fine. 

Fine is having a line at the grocery store.

Fine is sitting in a meeting that went a little too long.

 

Since I know now that time is precious. I want to use it in a way that leaves me feeling:

Inspired

Seen

Empowered

Joyful.

I have been extremely selective with who I’ve spent time with in the past month, and I like it. I like being so over the moon excited to see someone that enriches my life so much, that I know I will walk away feeling more at peace and in a greater place of connection.

If the relationship/connection/communication is just FINE, well,.. maybe it’s just not worth my time. 

Bottom line, I love Jackie time so so so much. I don’t need to spend my time with someone unless they ADD to what I already have. I think I’ve needed to write this out so I can remember to check in with myself about everything.

My time is the most valuable thing I have and I am not going to give it away.

 

Creating For Me

Hello! Happy Monday! The sun is out and it’s going to be another hot day here in San Diego.

I know I wrote a blog about a creative women’s group I wanted to start someday.  I remember writing it, and then being even more inspired from what I wrote.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, right before I left on vacation….

I was telling one of my girlfriends the concept for the group. ‘Wouldn’t it be great to get a group of creative women together that all have these ideas that they want to do. We can talk out loud about them and THEN hold each other accountable for everything we say we want to do!’

Anyone that knows this particular friend, knows that her response to ANY new idea is always, ‘Oh my gosh you should TOTALLY do it!’ That’s exactly what she said, and this time I was ready.

In 10 minutes I had created a Facebook event and we were planning on our first meeting. It’s funny, even a year ago I would have been plagued with ‘oh my gosh I can’t facilitate this sort of thing, I don’t know what I am doing,’ or ,’ I need more time to RESEARCH what I want to say and do,’ or ‘I’m too busy,’ or ‘I’m not the right person for the job,’ etc. etc. etc. I would have been freaking out. But now, for some odd reason, I wasn’t. It felt organic, and just like the next step. It was almost shocking how NOT scared I was. I felt empowered and full.

The meeting was a complete success! It was full of magic and laughter and these super awesome, weirdly synchronized events with wildly magnetic, bursting, creative women. The whole time I felt strong and powerful and as if I was completely in the right place at the right time.

It’s pretty interesting to feel worlds different than I would have even a couple of months ago. Why?

Here’s what I think:
I needed this group FOR ME.

I didn’t set out to:
INSPIRE OTHERS.
Or TEACH THEM SOMETHING.
Or CHANGE THEM.

This was purely for me. I was in a place of realizing that I need ACCOUNTABILITY and I DESIRE being around creative, compassionate, warm, open women. But I created this group for me, and that took all the pressure off. If other people end up getting what they need along the way, that’s great, but it’s not the reason I am doing it.

HA! I can see how I can apply this concept to all areas of my life. It’s not my JOB to teach people or get them into places I want them to be or I think they should be. It IS my job however, to live authentically and create what I WANT AND NEED FOR ME. What what a relief! I don’t need to save the world after all. Ha!

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