Quarantine Lessons

Yes, I know, it’s been so long since I wrote anything on here. It’s hard to believe how different life was just a couple of months ago, and it just keeps getting more and more bizarre. I’m sure all of you are at home quarantining as well, and I know there is a lot of anxiety and fear in the air.

What are the lessons you’ve learned so far? I get it. I know most people don’t think about the lessons when they are right in the middle of chaos, but they always provides me a sort of raft so I don’t mentally go underwater.

Here is what I’ve learned so far:

  1. As difficult as keeping a schedule can be, I can see the benefits now more than ever. Making sure I am creating time to do the things I want to do (and have been needing to do), makes me feel more in control of my life in the times when there isn’t much I am actually in control of.
  2. All the times I’ve taken for granted being able to BUY whatever I wanted at anytime, and it would appear on my doorstep a day later. It’s much harder now, and I trust that when the time comes that I can actually visit stores, or order whatever I want online, I’ll be much more grateful.
  3. Do things now that we imagine! It’s so easy to put things off, so easy! And yet, here we are living in a crazy world where we CAN’T just get done what we want, or receive services we would like, or finish projects we started. This is a huge lesson for me. If it’s in my head, take the jump and get out there. We never know when life won’t be so easy to make things happen.
  4. Being more in the moment. Because we aren’t buzzing around in our cars, and staying busy every second, the only option is to slow down and notice LIFE AROUND US. I know for years society has taught us that the only way we can feel good about ourselves is if we are ACCOMPLISHING and PUSHING and RUNNING IN CIRCLES. It’s pretty ironic that we can’t do any of that now. So instead of pushing against what is happening, I am leaning in to the quiet, and the slow.
  5. This is the perfect time to be creative!  And really, maybe it’s always been the PERFECT TIME, but life got in the way before. Now, there is NO excuse. Life is on hold so our creative lives can catch up. That is exciting!
  6. Mindless shopping and even social events can be a great distraction from what we are FEELING, and a way to procrastinate what we want in our lives. We no longer have those options, so I’m definitely looking at my own distractions differently. I can choose to be aware of how I live my life and what I want out of it. I can live intentionally, even in this crazy pandemic.
  7. Having intentions everyday helps me feel good about what I am doing and where I am headed. Since intentions are a mental awareness, they don’t need to depend on anything outside of us. This is a great reminder that I can still feel at peace, productive, share love, and feel creative, regardless of what is going on in the world.

I know there are a lot more lessons out there, but I’m starting with these 7. I hope everyone else is learning and growing as well. We will come out of this stronger. We will get through this together.

 

 

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Doodle a day!

It’s been a funky time to create art lately. Since we have shredded our garage to create a new guest bedroom, my art space had been nonexistent. It’s been really, really difficult, and most of the time find myself hunched over on a bed just to draw a bit.

The room is finally finished and my art space is just about up and running again. Ahhh!!!  I can’t wait to dive into these projects and to have the SPACE to create the area the way that it’s most creative, uplifting, exhilarating for me.

This is just a little piece I was working on last night with my watercolor pens. I love how you can go over an area again with the same color and it immediately darkens it, like watercolor I guess. Ha! I’m sure my sister will say it looks like a uterus. She sees women’s systems in everything I create. That wasn’t the intention,… but now that I’m looking at it…. hmmmm 😉

Sending everyone lots of love!

Jax

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Happy Birthday to Me!

Ever since I can remember I have always taken the day off for my birthday. I believe it should NEVER be spent in the office. Anything is better than working on your birthday.  Even though I don’t work in an office any longer, I still like to respect my day to take off and do something that feels new and fun and full.

However, this year is a little different. The last couple of days I have been in the middle of a hormone cyclone, that feels like PMS on hyper drive. I’ve heard this can happen in pregnancy, but wow,… it’s really really intense. I feel like I need to just cry and cry and cry and everything feels like these ginormous issues that I have no control over. I woke up this morning and realized that I just didn’t feel like taking off for the whole day.

So,.. here I sit in the library writing out this blog, moving through my feelings. I’m noticing the shame that I carry around for feeling a lot. Even though I KNOW it’s hormones, and I KNOW it’s pregnancy, the fact that I can’t CONTROL these intense emotions creates an unbearable amount of shame. I did some morning page writing about my relationship to shame this morning, and it’s sort of a fascinating concept, even as I get older. Instead of feeling compassion for myself when I am obviously hurting, why is it so easy to go to a place of shame? Of disgust? Right now I am consciously choosing to see myself as little Jackie that isn’t wrong or bad, just hurting. The way I would want to see my daughter when she’s hurting. I don’t need to be different, and I can’t so easily just push this away. So here I am, on my birthday writing about shame and feelings. ahahha

I think afterwards I’ll enjoy a good cry and a drive and a nap. What a wonderful way to celebrate a birthday. In a place of rawness, especially if I can spend most of the time just loving who I am and trusting that the feelings always move on once they are acknowledged and welcomed. xo

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Daily Rituals

I’m in this cool space right now where I’m getting into reading everything about honing creativity. I want to embrace WHO and WHAT I naturally am more than I ever have done in my life. I’ve been learning some really interesting things along this journey. Many of the books talk about the importance of having daily rituals that you do every single day without fail to create the space in your mind for inspiration.  I love this because all too often I am running from one thing to the next, without space in between, and then wondering why I’m not getting hits of inspiration and new ideas and moments of clarity. Hmmmm Maybe I need to create space for them to come through! So here is a list of my new daily rituals that I am adding to create a home for creativity.

  1. Take time to write down my thoughts and feelings. Ah! I used to write morning pages from Julia Cameron’s ‘Artist’s Way,’ book years ago, and had unfortunately gotten anxious from the time involved, and just stopped all together. But after reading from numerous articles about how clearing it can be, have taking it up again. It’s kind of fun to just let the words come out in any jumbled disaster, and have that be fine. No fixing them, no adjusting them. Just throw them on paper, for 3 pages every morning. This is really helpful for anyone suffering from perfectionism. You don’t read the pages and no one else does either. It’s just a way of clearing the fog so you can feel more creative during the day.  Incomplete sentences and spelling errors and scribbles are fine!  Yay
  2. After I write those morning pages, I meditate for 20 minutes. I have uped this from 15, and it’s sort of a struggle sometimes. But that’s how meditation sometimes is, no matter how many years I’ve done it. I’ve realized lately that holding an image in my head is relaxing me a lot more than just concentrating on my breathing. Sometimes I picture bright globs of paint, or my baby’s smiling face, and I can feel my body just relaxing. I think the reason meditation is so interesting, is that it is a PRACTICE. It’s not something you just start and then feel instantly better. It’s trial and error, it’s sitting when you don’t want to, it’s noticing thoughts and then starting again,…  When we struggle during meditation, we aren’t doing it wrong. That is the meditation. It’s making the commitment and sticking through it even when it’s hard, so much like life. I think the practice has helped me recognize in life when I want to give up, and then have the choice, just like meditation.
  3. Of course exercise! Exercise has been a huge part of my life for almost as long as I could remember. I love the endorphin rush, I love how my muscles and my heart feels. It’s been an interesting journey with this pregnancy, because I’ve had to slow down, and that’s been really tough for me. But here I am in my 2nd trimester, and my body is loving to exercise. This is our time to give our bodies a gift, to cherish what they can do, and love them into movement. I love to be at the gym, I love yoga, and I love dancing naked to music in my house. This baby is going to be dancing all the time with me. Ahhhhhhh bring on the endorphins! 😉
  4. Daily walks, preferably in silence. Noticing everything I see. Letting my mind wander,…  Paying attention to how my body feels, how the air feels, what the sun feels like, what catches my eye. I’ve been hearing that not only is taking breaks a must, but being outside is one of the best things you can do to enhance creativity. Ahhhhh
  5. Reading or listening to stimulating, positive words. Sometimes I want to just lose myself in some horrible murder trial on You Tube, and yet, what I’ve noticed, is that I feel a 1000 times better when I’m instead listening to something that is INSPIRING/ MOTIVATING/ and reminds me that I can make a change in every moment. After this I always hold my head up a little higher and feel a little more like I am becoming more of the person I want to be.
  6. Grateful lists. I’ve done these many times through the years, but over the past couple of weeks have become more conscious about listing continuously for 3 minutes or 5 minutes or whatever I decide. All too often we can get stuck in the buzzing parts of life that we forget to notice all the tiny moments that are amazing, all the miracles that are happening right before our eyes. I’ve made a deal with myself that I want to acknowledge these more than I have been. I want to not only notice, but fill myself with deep appreciation for all of the wonderful things that encompass my life.
  7. Writing down what I have learned. Sometimes I use my art journal for this, or a daily 5 minute journal that my husband and I have. I want to use that more than I do, but I don’t have the habit quite yet. But when I do write down what I’ve learned, I feel like the day is more successful. Especially when it doesn’t go as planned, it’s easy to feel like it was a waste, or nothing got accomplished. But there are lessons every single day. I want there to always be a place that I can acknowledge lessons, no matter how big or small they are. This shows me how much I am growing and changing and developing, which is something I NEVER WANT TO STOP.

I am sure I will have more adjustments later in the year, but for now, these are my rituals. I’d love to hear yours, and if they are inspiring you to show up as your best self.

Have a wonderful week,

xo

 

 

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Thriving with Time

Oh my gosh I know it’s been forever since I sat down and wrote! Of course, just like for everyone, the holidays were full of travel, and decisions, so much purchasing, and lots and lots of stuff going on. We are also creating a new room in our garage, so boxes and papers and life seems to be exploding all over the place.

My husband and I sat down the other day and started our ‘cabin work,’ that we usually save for actually being in a cabin around New Years. This year that time will be later in the month, but we needed to start now. On our couch. We have so many elements that are needing to be organized and labeled with a system that both of us have been getting overwhelmed.

Here is my favorite change we are implementing:
*Building our schedules with our personal needs/desires/dreams/and of course self care added FIRST. This is a huge change! Usually we have been at the mercy of whatever fires need to be put out for the kids, or the room being built, or the buildings we are managing, that we don’t get to do the things that ACTUALLY GIVE US ENERGY AND JOY. So,… these things go on first. Then the other stuff that isn’t so much fun, goes around the sides. We are hoping that this gives us a good foundation so that everything we want to ACHIEVE/WORK ON/CREATE/EXPERIENCE/GROW INTO,… actually gets the attention that it deserves so that we feel we are moving ahead in our lives. Yesssssss….

It’s so hard to know HOW to organize our time, isn’t it? I mean we all have the same amount of time everyday, and yet at least over here, it seems like if we aren’t conscious about how we spend it, the time can easily drain, drizzle, fizzle away with nothing to show for it.

This year I am hoping to be more respectful of my time and more aware of WHAT I am doing, HOW I am doing it, and WHY I am doing it, so that life feels a bit more intentional.

Especially since there is a baby on the way! 😉 We are both so excited, and yet this is making it even more clear that having schedules that make sense BEFORE little one comes can help us feel successful now. Since I know that once the end of June comes around, all bets are off. 🙂

How is your personal schedule going? Are you leaving time for self care and everything your body/mind/spirit needs to thrive and be your best?

 

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I Create My Story

I was playing around with my line art and thought maybe I could create one using words. I’ve always loved words, and after 40 hours of work, this piece is done!  It was fun and challenging, and I definitely want to create more.

I love words that remind us to take control of our lives and go after what we want. We have the power!

xo

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Lines and Joy

What a wonderful thing to recognize that what I create naturally without even thinking, IS my art. I don’t need to be different. I am enough just as I am.

All this time wishing I was someone else, and no more. That never brought me joy, that never helped me feel good in my own skin.

It stops now.

I create in my way, and the beauty is that it’s a natural movement for me. There is no pushing.

So funny how much society tells us we need to be like everyone else, but in reality, what makes us unique is OUR thing. That’s what sets us apart.

Sending everyone lots of love that you are living YOUR truth, and living life YOUR WAY.

XO

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Accidental Art

Sometimes the most beautiful art is an accident. Nature has a way of creating beyond anything we ever could. This is a picture I took of blue glass ice in Alaska. There have been no color adjustments, it is just this glorious aquamarine delicious blue! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Wowwwwww!

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I am Remembering

That anytime in life,

may it be in a conversation, during yoga, while making art, sleeping, etc. if I am PUSHING/FORCING/GRINDING/SHOVING at all, I am not allowing the Universe to move through me.

Life can be filled with ease and delight in every moment.

Sometimes I need to remember this as I live.
Anything I choose to do,
be,
say,
experience, can be done with an open ease to allow the truth that I may not even know exists yet, come forth.

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The Game of Life and How to Play It

Wow! Can’t believe it’s nearing the end of August! Oh my gosh!!! So my family and I just got home from an Alaskan cruise. It was great in many ways, but of course it wasn’t without the occasional family drama. Soooo nice to be home though! Even though I am still wading through travel items that need to be put away, 1/2 done loads of laundry, and this excited/anxious feeling of wanting to get back into a LIFE SCHEDULE and experience DAILY LIFE AGAIN. Traveling is so great, but it’s always nice to come home. 🙂

A couple weeks before we left, I ordered a book on Amazon that supposedly was written to help people manifest in an easy way, sort of reset the thick anticipatory funk that usually seems like comes with the concept. I opened the first page, and the author had written that she had been inspired by the book “The Game of Life and How to Play it,” by Florence Scovel Shinn. The name of the book caught my eye because I’ve had that book on the shelf for 2 years, and hadn’t opened it yet. I remember I had heard about it on some spiritual website/blog/ or from a person that the book is pretty amazing, but just never got around to it. This was obviously a sign! So I decided to switch over to reading that little book that had been patiently sitting on my shelf instead of my new one.

I feel so blessed that this book was waiting for me. My entire perspective is shifting and I am feeling more empowered, more delighted, more alive in my life. I am astounded that Florence wrote this in 1925, wow! What a freakin’ powerhouse.

My husband and I have been reading it together nearly every night. (I know I know I’m pretty lucky to have such a receptive partner….)

One of my favorite messages from the book is that there is a supply for every demand. She also mentions that blessing others automatically blesses ourselves. I love the concept of blessing others, and it automatically dissolves any anger or irritation towards them. Life in so many ways has been so ego centered. I feel so connected to humans by blessing them, and acknowledging that we all aren’t that different.

She has reminded me of the law of karma. If we want love, send love out. If we want support and understanding, to give that. Give that which we seek.

It really reminds me to expect miracles. That what is our divine right cannot be taken from us, and will show up in divine timing. I feel so much more at ease in my life, trusting that the Universe has my back.

I love it when a message, a book, a person, a realization shows up at just the right moment. It seems like this is happening to me more and more.

Yay! Sending so much love and blessings to all of you. 😉 xo

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