Appreciate More

I appreciate hearing the rain through all the open windows.

I appreciate feeling so much love in my house.

I appreciate that the kittens meditate with me every morning.

I appreciate breathing in the silence.

I appreciate taking baths in the morning.

I appreciate the smell of rain on the sidewalk.

I appreciate that I love spending time with my hubby.

I appreciate having Keeks curl up with me.

I appreciate hearing Keeks laugh.

I appreciate curling up with warm kittens.

I appreciate drinking warm water.

I appreciate the cool wind outside.

I appreciate feeling my heart overflowing with love.

I appreciate having faith.

I appreciate watching the curtain billow in the open window.

I appreciate the anticipation of having my hubby walk in the door.

I appreciate the smell of clean clothes.

 

Old Friends Same Love

Hello! Wow, it’s been so long since I’ve written. I hope the holidays went well for everyone.

I’m working through some feelings about old friends. I think I have probably always seen my life as seasons and chapters. In one chapter these people where the ones I was super close to, or in this one, I was doing these things, and had this friend. Seeing life this way has made it a lot easier for me to recognize that these people were in it for that specific time and place, for lessons I needed to learn, and they aren’t necessarily going to be in all parts of my life. Now that’s not true for everyone. There are some friends where we have walked through more than one chapter together, hand in hand, and it’s been exactly what both of us needed. But when that happens, I think it’s because we were both learning and growing together, and from each other. Once the growth doesn’t feel in sync anymore, it makes sense that the relationship isn’t as strong, or it just goes away.

Even though I really get this intellectually, and have seen it play out many times in my life, it still makes me sad when I think about old friends. I feel sad that I don’t push to have them in my life, even if I know we are in different places. I feel guilty that I’m not missing them the way I feel I SHOULD.

I love my old friends. The ones that were with me through so much. The very small, few that knew everything about me, and I knew everything about them. I miss feeling like I had those select people where we could talk and laugh for hours. I miss feeling that comfortable with someone. I miss that we could finish each other’s sentences or give each other a LOOK and we knew exactly what that meant.

There is a lot that I miss. 

But I’ve changed. I’ve changed a lot. Some of these friends, it’s been 20 years since we were close. That’s a whole lifetime! I wouldn’t even recognize myself. For other friends, it’s been more of a slow burn. Maybe we stayed friends longer than we should of, but because of the love we both had, we stayed? For those friends, I’ve also changed.

I don’t miss the relationship.

I don’t miss feeling like I couldn’t fully speak my truth. I don’t miss feeling like we couldn’t work through anything.

Growth is hard I am realizing. I love learning about myself and growing, but this is one of those horribly painful growing pains. I’m just unable to swallow down how I feel anymore, and I can’t keep old relationships alive if that is what it takes. I would have loved it if we had moved at the same pace, if we had worked towards similar things. But I can see now that ‘my way’ isn’t the right way.

It’s just different. 

So in order for me to take care of ME, to honor ME, I will send love.

I will send the love that has always been there from the beginning of our friendship. But I need to hold myself up with more love than I have before, and I cannot settle when it doesn’t feel right.

I love you for the memories we had together, for having you to tell my secrets to, for feeling included and safe in your presence. I will always love you and I will continue to send you love as you journey through your life.

 

Appreciate Again

I appreciate writing in the silence.

I appreciate that I trust I can move through my feelings.

I appreciate that I am resilient.

I appreciate that these noise cancelling headphones keep me wayyyyyyyyyyy more focused.

I appreciate that my hubby is always trying to support me any way he can. Even when I push him away.

I appreciate having a schedule.

I appreciate actually getting things done.

I appreciate trusting that the solutions will come, probably when I stop worrying about the problem.

I appreciate how bright blue the sky is.

I appreciate knowing I can pick my battles.

I appreciate these exciting, creative ideas.

I appreciate being out of the house.

I appreciate that feelings no longer cause shame.

I appreciate that it is okay for me to feel sad.

I appreciate that I can make the changes I want/need at any time.

I appreciate that I can see all these rows and rows of books.

I appreciate that our December looks like your May.

I appreciate that I have fuzzy kittens waiting for me at home.

I appreciate hot tea all day long.

I appreciate recognizing that maybe I feel shitty because I didn’t do my writing this morning. Maybe I can’t just skip something like that.

I appreciate having the fireplace on, once the temperature hits 68.

I appreciate remembering that I am powerful.

I appreciate noticing so many things I am grateful for.

I appreciate that I am creating!

Appreciate More

I appreciate being able to work things out with my relationships.

I appreciate recognizing that I can improve my confidence.

I appreciate learning lessons everyday.

I appreciate all the gifts that continuously come into my life.

I appreciate the silence.

I appreciate that my kitten knows when I get up in the morning that it is our meditation time.

I appreciate watching this beautiful hummingbird flutter in front of me.

I appreciate trusting that my emotions are all safe to feel.

I appreciate my bravery.

I appreciate that it’s okay wherever I am emotionally/mentally/physically.

I appreciate having a really awesome morning workout.

I appreciate allowing the tears to come out.

I appreciate a hot bath.

I appreciate good rest.

I appreciate that I am learning to trust my intuition better than ever.

I appreciate knowing that my body is doing the best it can.

I appreciate being capable of love.

I appreciate being loved.

I appreciate being ready to work through issues.

I appreciate my willingness to be vulnerable.

I appreciate my desire to show up for myself, for people I love, for strangers.

I appreciate leaving small gifts for random people to find.

I appreciate the slight rustling of trees in the breeze.

I appreciate the smell of my kittens when I stick my nose in their fluff.

I appreciate tiny beautiful moments that make up a day.

 

Appreciate

I appreciate being able to sit outside with my cat.

I appreciate listening to the leaves tumble across the sidewalk.

I appreciate that I have a wonderful relationship with my husband.

I appreciate that I am learning how to take better care of myself.

I appreciate seeing my kitten relish in the sunlight.

I appreciate holding myself accountable.

I appreciate learning how to focus better.

I appreciate having so many creative ideas.

I appreciate feeling the sunlight on my face.

I appreciate drinking a cup of tea on the porch.

I appreciate that there are a million choices I get to make today.

I appreciate trusting that I am always doing my best.

I appreciate making mistakes.

I appreciate being choosy with friends.

I appreciate having friends that truly know me and enjoy me.

I appreciate being capable of speaking my truth.

I appreciate the joy of making art.

I appreciate the feeling of sheer inspiration.

I appreciate recognizing how much there is to appreciate.

Time to Play

As these cra cra holidays begin, I hope you’re giving yourself time to breathe, and time to play!

We can only be our best when we are taking care of ourselves to the BEST of our ability.

 

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑