Becoming An Adult

Shhhhhhit it’s about time!

So I’ve realized something sorta funny. I get so super excited to start a new piece that I tend to not really be aware of the materials I’m using. This has been a problem for years, it’s not at all new. But the idea of MAKING DRAFTS of anything is very nauseating, and I have this belief that my piece will end up feeling less intuitive. So I’d just start with a lot of excitement and vigor and then suddenly realize the paper is sucky or the pen is writing like crap with the particular paint. Silly mistakes. Mistakes I DIDN’T need to discover IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ACTUAL ART PIECE.

I end up super annoyed that my piece isn’t as good as it could have been.

Oh Gawd this is soooooo obviously self sabotage. 

I can see that by NOT planning, and then creating something that has obvious material issues, I can blame the problems with the piece on that. Instead of PREPARING and oh no, what if I STILL DON’T LIKE IT?

Or what if I do?

Funny how our self sabotage brain can be oh so sneaky.

So because I can see it all pretty damn clear, I decided to do something I’ve never done before.

Make freakin’ notes. 

I even had to document it with this photo, that’s how rare it is. Ya you’re not gunna get the best of me again SELF SABOTAGE BULLSHIT BRAIN, (or SSBB).

So once again, I need to figure out the BALANCE between 2 extremes.

1. Loving to organically create through my intuition,
2. But ALSO use materials that I KNOW will give me the effect that I want.

Huh. Big thoughts here people. Big adult thinking going on.

All I can say is bring it on!