Allowing my hand to move to its own beat. Ahhhh this was like taking a long meditative nap… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
If you look up the definition of ‘mandala,’ you will see that it represents the search for ‘completeness’ and ‘self-unity’. Though I love these concepts, I am realizing in my life, that the search for that, or rather the experience of them is NEVER a perfect evolution, a perfect circle. There is a constant ebb and flow and one step forward and two steps back. I feel like it’s much more accurate to demonstrate our lifelong journey of learning and growth in a form that is a bit more organic. This is something I am in the process of creating, and I’m not sure if I should fill the page, or leave it as it is. I will add the final photo when I decide. I would like to do more of them!
Here is another one of the tiny pieces I’ve played with. Ah there are so many fun creations I am in the middle of. I will share more when they are finished!
I got this idea to make these tiny pieces using texture paste and acrylic paint. It’s so fun to see how some products mix with each other. It’s a totally different experience to paint on top of the paste and it creates sort of a hazy watercolored background. I am going to cut more of these pieces today to make small little universes like this.
Lately I have been super into creating these pieces that incorporate both my tiny drawing and acrylic paint. For this one, I had this idea to use my body to add the paint instead of a palette knife or a brush. I love the feel of the paint on my hands. The end result has some interesting elements. As I was watching what I was creating, I felt of the concept of Resilience. Paving a path only to realize that it’s not quite the way. Having the strength to keep going, keep searching, keep open, keep learning, keep curious, keep breathing to find the place where we need to be.
And the paint on my skin just makes it more personal. The personal journey we must all take as we navigate, digress again and again, hope, pick ourselves up, start over, love, hurt, grow, feel.
Shhhhhhit it’s about time!
So I’ve realized something sorta funny. I get so super excited to start a new piece that I tend to not really be aware of the materials I’m using. This has been a problem for years, it’s not at all new. But the idea of MAKING DRAFTS of anything is very nauseating, and I have this belief that my piece will end up feeling less intuitive. So I’d just start with a lot of excitement and vigor and then suddenly realize the paper is sucky or the pen is writing like crap with the particular paint. Silly mistakes. Mistakes I DIDN’T need to discover IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ACTUAL ART PIECE.
I end up super annoyed that my piece isn’t as good as it could have been.
Oh Gawd this is soooooo obviously self sabotage.
I can see that by NOT planning, and then creating something that has obvious material issues, I can blame the problems with the piece on that. Instead of PREPARING and oh no, what if I STILL DON’T LIKE IT?
Or what if I do?
Funny how our self sabotage brain can be oh so sneaky.
So because I can see it all pretty damn clear, I decided to do something I’ve never done before.
Make freakin’ notes.
I even had to document it with this photo, that’s how rare it is. Ya you’re not gunna get the best of me again SELF SABOTAGE BULLSHIT BRAIN, (or SSBB).
So once again, I need to figure out the BALANCE between 2 extremes.
- Loving to organically create through my intuition,
- But ALSO use materials that I KNOW will give me the effect that I want.
Huh. Big thoughts here people. Big adult thinking going on.
All I can say is bring it on!
What we send out into the world, always comes back. I have to remind myself of this when I am annoyed and angry and irritated or just hungry and tired. That’s not the reason for me to attempt to be the best version of myself, but it’s good for me to keep in mind. I’m working on feeling my feelings fully (and eating when I’m a total b****) so I can be present with showing up in a place of gratitude, joy, and kindness. And yet, I’m constantly seeing I need to forgive myself when I don’t do it the way I’d like.
Sending you all love, peace and harmony. May you have the desire to follow your own heart and the bravery to speak your truth.
I know, it’s been forever since I’ve written on this blog. The last couple of weeks have been extremely stressful, and I’ve gone back to the basics, meditation and making art. Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough. Enough marketing! Enough working on my website! Enough learning Photoshop. But honestly, I am slowly learning that getting myself into a good place is more important than writing on this, or sending my art out into social media. I just need to reclaim Jackie, and I know how to do it.
Anyway, this is a piece I made while thinking of the concept of ‘Intention.’ The way a direction, an intention moves through us, sinking into our reality. This is what happened when I painted intention. I appreciate the movement of it and the way it feels like it’s burrowing into something, planting. These current pieces I’m working on are showcasing the paint instead of letting the pen stand out. I feel like my style is coming out of this. ah!
This was so much fun and I can’t wait to create more based on feelings and affirmations I want to experience more in my life. YEsssssssssssssss