As I find myself, I find my tribe.
It’s funny, I’m looking back through my life, and at certain times I thought I’d found MY TRIBE that would last a lifetime. Maybe I had. Maybe the ‘lifetime’ just ended before my life did.
It seems like people have this fascination with having great friends for a long period of time. However, if we are all ever evolving there is a very good chance that two people do not change at the same time.
Or even in remotely the same way.
Maybe our TRIBE is always shifting.
Even a year ago, I thought I had MY TRIBE. My lifetime tribe. I never would have guessed in a thousand years that my friendship base would have changed so much in just a year. I had some close girlfriends in my life that I’ve known for a really, really long time, through so many breakups and breakdowns and breakthroughs. We knew pretty much everything about each other. It’s hard to believe that only 9 months later we don’t even talk.
Sure I was sad for awhile, very sad and hurt when I felt that the relationship was changing.
Then I realized something.
What if we were in each other’s lives when we needed it?
But what if the relationship doesn’t make sense anymore because we’ve learned what we needed to learn?
Is that so bad?
I’m really not angry about this. I am who I am right now because they were in my life. Because I had someone to share my pain with, my joys with, my fears, and my love, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. In so many ways they taught me what friendship was, in the capacity that I could experience it.
I send them love almost everyday, and though we will probably never be close again, I am not angry. I am grateful. I am also astounded by the constant evolution of life. The constant movement that we could never expect.
So as my current tribe is being created, I’m fully aware of who I am bringing closer and why. In the past, maybe I was drawn to people for a variety of reasons unknown.
But that is not who I am anymore.
I know exactly what I am seeking and attracted to. I know what I want more of, and what feels good. My tribe is exactly what I need now in my life.
I guess I feel a little nostalgic for my dear old friends right now. I’m sending so much love to all those wonderful people that I loved and cherished throughout the years. Thank you for all the friendship and tears and I hope you find everything your heart wants.
I hope you are surrounded in the tribe that your soul needs.