I’m back

I’m finally sitting here at my little laptop ready to WRITE. Finally. It’s been so long! And actually it’s felt like forever since

I’ve MADE ART.

I went from driving many hours to a wonderful party in Los Angeles to a couple of days back home sorting through life stuff. Sometimes this happens, right? Days go in ways we don’t expect, and routine gets flipped around. But I have so missed writing my daily posts.

I think what I’m recognizing is that I am so much better at being easy on myself. It’s been an excruciatingly long month with so many stressful things happening, and lots of gory feelings exploding all over the place, and lots of places where cobwebs are literally falling out of the shadows.

When I’d go through things like this in the past, I’d feel so much SHAME and wonder WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??

I should be able to handle this! I should be STRONGER BETTER FASTER more amazing than I am.

I  SHOULD BE DIFFERENT.

Through the years, through the work I’ve been doing on myself, those voices still come up but they are softer, and they are way more in the background then they used to be. In fact, I can point them out! I can call them to the  front of the classroom and tell them their help is no longer needed.

Now, I am in charge.

Because the last week has been again so much learning and growing and aching and changing,…

What is the most loving thing I can do for myself?

I can make art.