Tag: female artist

Becoming An Adult

Shhhhhhit it’s about time!

So I’ve realized something sorta funny. I get so super excited to start a new piece that I tend to not really be aware of the materials I’m using. This has been a problem for years, it’s not at all new. But the idea of MAKING DRAFTS of anything is very nauseating, and I have this belief that my piece will end up feeling less intuitive. So I’d just start with a lot of excitement and vigor and then suddenly realize the paper is sucky or the pen is writing like crap with the particular paint. Silly mistakes. Mistakes I DIDN’T need to discover IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ACTUAL ART PIECE.

I end up super annoyed that my piece isn’t as good as it could have been.

Oh Gawd this is soooooo obviously self sabotage. 

I can see that by NOT planning, and then creating something that has obvious material issues, I can blame the problems with the piece on that. Instead of PREPARING and oh no, what if I STILL DON’T LIKE IT?

Or what if I do?

Funny how our self sabotage brain can be oh so sneaky.

So because I can see it all pretty damn clear, I decided to do something I’ve never done before.

Make freakin’ notes. 

I even had to document it with this photo, that’s how rare it is. Ya you’re not gunna get the best of me again SELF SABOTAGE BULLSHIT BRAIN, (or SSBB).

So once again, I need to figure out the BALANCE between 2 extremes.

  1. Loving to organically create through my intuition,
  2. But ALSO use materials that I KNOW will give me the effect that I want.

Huh. Big thoughts here people. Big adult thinking going on.

All I can say is bring it on!

 

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Cayce Zavaglia

What??!

Wow! I happened to be surfing Instagram when I came across this gem. These are hyper-realistic portraits made from silk, cotton and wool.

I am so unbelievably fascinated!

cayce zavaglia

The part that I found to be even cooler, is that the back of the embroidery is just as incredible, if not more. Wow! There is so much life and power and movement just beyond what we would normally see. Sheesh…

cayce z back side

Check her out:
https://www.instagram.com/caycezavagliastudio/
http://www.caycezavaglia.com/

xo Jax

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Sheila Arora

Scoping through Instagram is the best way to find interesting artists.  This girl popped into my search, and I was instantly drawn to her work. If you don’t like getting messy (or seeing messy), this won’t be your thing. But I love it. I love the unfinished, in the middle of, passionately moving through sorta look. Her pieces feel like time is moving around me, like I’m standing on the platform as the subway rushes by. Or that I can barely make out diamonds in a rainstorm.

http://www.thomasmastersgallery.com/current/
https://www.instagram.com/sheilakarora/

Check her out when you get a chance!

sheilaarora painting

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Intention

I know, it’s been forever since I’ve written on this blog. The last couple of weeks have been extremely stressful, and I’ve gone back to the basics, meditation and making art. Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough. Enough marketing! Enough working on my website! Enough learning Photoshop. But honestly, I am slowly learning that getting myself into a good place is more important than writing on this, or sending my art out into social media. I just need to reclaim Jackie, and I know how to do it.

Anyway, this is a piece I made while thinking of the concept of ‘Intention.’ The way a direction, an intention moves through us, sinking into our reality. This is what happened when I painted intention. I appreciate the movement of it and the way it feels like it’s burrowing into something, planting. These current pieces I’m working on are showcasing the paint instead of letting the pen stand out. I feel like my style is coming out of this. ah!

This was so much fun and I can’t wait to create more based on feelings and affirmations I want to experience more in my life. YEsssssssssssssss

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Passion

If I were to paint passion, this is what it would look like.

I have realized lately that though I am creating what feels natural to me, I am craving more meaning. I love depth and so appreciate realizations and growth and change. I know, shocking isn’t it?

This piece is reminding me that I can have an intention for an emotion or feeling and create from there. Ah! This feels like passion, exploding, moving, exploring, vibrating.. Ah!

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The Dance of Creativity, the Dance of Life

It’s funny how life moves, ebbs and flows. Sometimes I am buzzing with this luscious creative energy pulsing through my body.

Other times I am a bit listless. My mind bouncing back and forth on a certain piece, playing through different actions I could take to get me back to that place of deliciously vibrant energy.

I always get back, but sometimes the journey is uncomfortable. Right now, I see images in my head over and over again and once I start creating them, they disappear and I’m left with only a sliver of what I saw. So there’s the anxiety, the flipping of my brain to figure it out, to solve the mystery.

As I sit here at the computer, reminding myself to be PRESENT with where I am, and that I will get back to creating soon enough, I am also remembering that part of the process IS the trial and error. It IS the moving closer and closer to who we are at the depth of our core, and then sometimes in the next second being washed back onto the shore unsure of what just happened.

Maybe this is what it feels like to be an artist.

Maybe this is what it feels like to be human.

The glorious blissful moments where everything connects, and then the constant yearning for that when it’s gone.
Maybe I don’t need to yearn.

Maybe I can breathe through the not knowing, and remember the process, remember that curiosity must remain in order for work to come alive at all.

I want my pieces to not only have color and movement, but to be full of feelings and heartbreak and power and vivid streaks of beauty and pain. The only way I can do any of that is to be there, dancing with it. Holding on to and letting it lead, allowing it to move to it’s own beat while I step out of the way and gracefully allow creativity to lead.

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Doodle?

Whenever I am gliding a pen across the paper, and someone makes a comment, I uncomfortably always say ‘Augh it’s nothing, I am just doodling. I am just playing.’

Which,… is true in a sense. Creating art this way by allowing my mind to relax and trusting the pen to move as it must, is the ultimate restorative, gentle, emotive activity that brings me right back to who I am where I feel solid and full and alive.

However, the words that come out of my mouth sounds as if what I am doing is suddenly so minuscule, so silly, a time waster. Which is exactly what I always felt it was,
a HUGE WASTE OF TIME. 

This got me thinking….

What is the actual definition of ‘doodle’ anyway?
Well, I looked it up.

Doodle: To scrawl aimlessly, to fritter away time, to scribble absentmindedly.

Huh. Wow. That doesn’t sound amazing. So I looked up absentmindedly so I could get a complete view at all of this.

Absentmindedly: So lost in thought that one does not realize what one is doing; preoccupied with something else. Absent, inattentive.

No wonder I haven’t felt ‘doodle’ suits me! None of this is true! Sure I am relaxed when I am creating, but I am buzzing with joy and gratitude and play and I am definitely AWARE of what I am doing. There is no part of the definition that is about being in a place of bliss or meditation or even being remotely creative. And ABSENT!??? Uh no.

Wow. Isn’t this fascinating how words carry so much energy? Some words don’t fit at all even though we keep using them. This is so funny, I have felt such a disconnect from that word which has made me feel like I’m not a real artist, like I’m such a silly bullshitter.

I think I am going to eliminate the word DOODLE out of my vocabulary entirely. I mean, I can do that. The word has made me feel small and insignificant and there is no reason at all for that.

From now on I am CREATING.

I am an artist, I am not a silly doodler.

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