Creating a Life I love Through Art
Because of my fascination with everything microscopic, I stumbled upon this incredible scientist/artist. Dr. Greenberg takes microscopic images of many different things that end up being art. My favorite are the grains of sand. They are so unique like individually created pieces of pottery from outer space.
Check him out!!
http://sandgrains.com/Sand-Grains-Gallery.html
https://barbourdesign.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/sand-macrophotography-of-dr-gary-greenberg/
Here’s to the bursting buzzing excitement that is stored in all of us. The giddy deliciousness that bubbles over into explosive gasping pieces of joy like confetti in a windstorm.
Here’s to the fire pulsing at the bottom of our guts vibrating, moving, seething,.. ready to boil over.
And the hot sticky tears, overwhelmed with laughter!
Ahhhh!! Passion!
As I find myself, I find my tribe.
It’s funny, I’m looking back through my life, and at certain times I thought I’d found MY TRIBE that would last a lifetime. Maybe I had. Maybe the ‘lifetime’ just ended before my life did.
It seems like people have this fascination with having great friends for a long period of time. However, if we are all ever evolving there is a very good chance that two people do not change at the same time.
Or even in remotely the same way.
Maybe our TRIBE is always shifting.
Even a year ago, I thought I had MY TRIBE. My lifetime tribe. I never would have guessed in a thousand years that my friendship base would have changed so much in just a year. I had some close girlfriends in my life that I’ve known for a really, really long time, through so many breakups and breakdowns and breakthroughs. We knew pretty much everything about each other. It’s hard to believe that only 9 months later we don’t even talk.
Sure I was sad for awhile, very sad and hurt when I felt that the relationship was changing.
Then I realized something.
What if we were in each other’s lives when we needed it?
But what if the relationship doesn’t make sense anymore because we’ve learned what we needed to learn?
Is that so bad?
I’m really not angry about this. I am who I am right now because they were in my life. Because I had someone to share my pain with, my joys with, my fears, and my love, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. In so many ways they taught me what friendship was, in the capacity that I could experience it.
I send them love almost everyday, and though we will probably never be close again, I am not angry. I am grateful. I am also astounded by the constant evolution of life. The constant movement that we could never expect.
So as my current tribe is being created, I’m fully aware of who I am bringing closer and why. In the past, maybe I was drawn to people for a variety of reasons unknown.
But that is not who I am anymore.
I know exactly what I am seeking and attracted to. I know what I want more of, and what feels good. My tribe is exactly what I need now in my life.
I guess I feel a little nostalgic for my dear old friends right now. I’m sending so much love to all those wonderful people that I loved and cherished throughout the years. Thank you for all the friendship and tears and I hope you find everything your heart wants.
I hope you are surrounded in the tribe that your soul needs.
I was just out on a beautiful long hike with a good friend of mine. I love the mixture of deep talks and nature, there’s sort of nothing like it.
Anyway, she has recently gotten her real estate license for California and I was asking her what the PLANS ARE.
I love what she said!! She started with, “I’m really checking in with myself every day to feel where I am and where I’d like to be. I’m heading in one direction, but who knows, I may end up heading in a different direction. But I’m going to move where my heart feels it should go.”
I love this for so many reasons. First of all this crazy society we live in is all about ACCOMPLISHMENT. We set out on a path (any path) and if we decide along the way that we don’t like it or want it anymore, we usually either:
A. Push even harder! I must conquer! I must win! I will ACCOMPLISH these dreams! (Even if they aren’t anymore, but don’t tell anyone.)
B. I’m going to quit everything and then feel super shitty about myself. Oh gawd what is wrong with me? I can never finish anything. I’m so scared to START something, I may decide I don’t like the path I choose.
What is it that has terrified us into making the WRONG decision? What if we are really here to experience and expand and check in with what our soul needs?
What if the word accomplishMENT is really what are we MENT to accomplish? What if it’s not whatever we can get our hands on. What if it’s what our soul is truly MENT to do, not all the anxious buzzing bullshit that only looks great on paper but feels empty inside.
I loooooooooove that my friend was able to articulate her feelings about possibly migrating from one thing to the next. Knowing what she’d like to do now, but also honoring herself for the inevitable changes she’ll make along the way.
My girlfriend went on to say that she is not sure what her next venture in life will be, but she knows that she will NOT be pulled to do something just for the money.
She also said that she is OKAY NOT KNOWING where will end up.
She is comfortable in the unknowing, of trusting that the answers she needs will show up when she needs them.
Woa. How would it be to live like this? To gently move from one truth to another, from one trusting moment to bliss to passion to joy and back to trusting?
What if life can really be like this?
So I’m checking in with me.
All the parts that have felt embarrassed or vulnerable for passionately starting ideas and businesses and friendships and projects and relationships all to find out that they weren’t really for me in the long run. That I was seeking them for the wrong reasons. Is that so bad? Hey I’ve been doing things! I’ve been moving forward, and getting my hands dirty and making messes and gaining experiences!
I am going to spend a little time apologizing for all the times that I was angry at myself for NOT FINISHING WHAT I STARTED, NOT CONQUERING!
When maybe, just maybe I was listening to my heart all along. Maybe I got what I needed and then it was time to have a different experience.
Maybe I am whole just as I am, and maybe my heart can (and does) guide me better than I realized.
After a bunch more hours and hundreds of new lines,.. I am finished! I really enjoyed making this piece. In hindsight there were probably much quicker ways to get the same results but that’s okay! Trial and error, right? I’m liking the contracting colors but it’d be fun to put into Photoshop and change everything up. Hmmm!!
Every 3 months or so me and my hubby sit down to have a ‘check in.’ We usually chat about what is going on mentally and emotionally in our lives. But instead of it just being a bitch sess, we each take a turn discussing where we are and where we would like to be. We ask each other questions about how we feel, and which relationships in our lives need a little extra work. It’s our time to fully connect with each other like the best friends that we are.
On Tuesday, we both knew we needed a check in. It’s been a very emotionally full year so far, and we were both craving connection.
However. Instead of sitting on the couch in the darkened family room like we usually do for our deep chat, my man suggested we sit at the beach and watch the sun go down while we talk.
Ah!!
This is one of the (many many) reasons that I love him so much. He knows just what will excite me and just what will spice up our everyday.
We stopped and bought some delicious Whole Foods salads, poured wine into a thermos, and headed out to the beach.
Oh my gosh I can’t tell you how amazing it was to be curled up in our beach chairs side by side gazing out at the ocean and sharing our feelings. Ahhhh!!!!
It was such a great reminder that life does go fast. There is always something more to handle or feel or take care of. But if we want to not just survive it, but ENJOY it, we need to celebrate all the small parts. We could have just stayed home, had a nice chat and watched a show, but instead we transformed our entire week. This will probably be remembered as one of my favorite evenings ever with my man.
So one of the things I’m super fascinated with is microscopic photos of cells. Ahhhh!! I want to paint them!! I’ve seen some amazingly detailed pictures of flower and plant cells and have been planning on creating something that is inspired by that. Though I still may do that, I stumbled upon something sooooooooooooooooooooo freakin cool.
I loved Neuropsychology and Molecular Biology and at one time thought maybe I’d become a college professor to teach this stuff. I was so unbelievable fascinated! Well….. I happen to come across photos of oxytocin, and adrenaline under a microscope. Ahhhh!
And! Human body cells,… like heart, skin, and embryos! Oh my gosh I can barely breathe, I’m so excited. What if I created pieces based on these??? Wow. Finding similarities between the microscopic photos so they create a sort of story or message,.. like the heart cells interwoven with oxytocin… Or heart, skin and brain.
Ahhhh! I just needed to get this out there. My heart is beating so fast. ahhah!!
Okay okay I’ll post when I have something.
xo
I was browsing through Pinterest this morning, when I came across this gem. Her work is so mystical and astronomical. I especially enjoy the ‘future dreams’ work.
Check it out: http://www.georgiepaint.com/process-2016
https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/georginavinsun/
Oh and even Jealous Curator loves her work!
http://www.thejealouscurator.com/blog/2013/06/04/im-jealous-of-georgina-vinsun/
Love her use of color! I feel like I’m soaring among the stars. SO amazing!
What if everything has the potential to work out if we stop focusing so hard on it?
I have sort of a funny example:
I’ve always disliked my arms. They were never the shape I wanted.
Through the years I started paying more and more attention to them until it became a total obsession.I was constantly thinking about them, and noticing other people’s arms that I was envious of.
Looking back, I can also see that my fixation caused me to assume that EVERYONE ELSE was also aware of my arms.
What is wrong with me?
Oh my gosh I look so horrible!
My arms are so noticeable and disgusting!
I found weight classes with the determination of getting them THE WAY I WANT THEM. I pushed myself to make this happen, but nothing seemed to be working!
The ARMS had become this HUGE problem.
I worked out even harder.
But still nothing happened.
About 4 months ago, I was peering at them, grabbing the areas I felt should be different, and I thought of something. If my arms suddenly WERE exactly what I wanted, how would my life be different?
Would I still do the same things?
Would I still have the same people in my life?
Would the same things still make me happy and sad and excited?
Yes. Of course, the answer was yes.
So…
Who cares?
I mean really, what if my arms are just the latest obsession that is keeping me from totally accepting myself, but they are fine? What if they are fine just the way they are. Can I love myself exactly as this, if they never do change?
I decided that yes, I can and I stopped thinking about them. I started sending them love when I saw them in the mirror, and being grateful they were getting so strong from all my weight exercises.
I stopped noticing the size.
The other day I was in the middle of my brutal yoga class and I happened to glimpse at my arms in the mirror. I realized that they were starting to take the shape I had always wanted. But I hadn’t even noticed!
As I examined them more closely that evening, I realized something else. It’s great they are toning up, it really is. And yet I don’t care nearly as much as I thought. Their size, their shape isn’t what determines my happiness.
So I was wondering, is this how it is in all areas of life? If we are super focused on something, and running in circles demanding it to BE DIFFERENT, do things suddenly change? After all that grueling work?
Or if we build up some sort of ideal into this fantasy that will make our LIVES BETTER AND MORE ENJOYABLE AND HAPPIER, is that ever true?
This was a great epiphany, because I’m involved in some heavy life stuff right now. Maybe instead of running in circles SEARCHING FOR THE ANSWER, I can surrender to what is, and LOVE who and what I am and who and what everyone else is that I am involved with.
Maybe this can create the space for miracles to occur.
Sunshine and Cerulean 