Wow! What a weekend! This is the first one in a long time that actually FELT like a weekend. Know what I mean?
Sometimes we have these ridiculously stressful weeks and then convince ourselves that the weekend will be the time to finally really relax, and yet it becomes just another couple of days where we are running around stressed out chasing the feeling of relief.
This has been a huge part of my life lately. My hubby and I have had some pretty stressful, exhausting things going on with the kids and his ex-wife. So we have done what any concerned, aware, loving parents would do,..
we’ve talked about it obsessively.
I think in my head, I felt that if we aren’t talking about the issues over and over and over again until they are SOLVED, then we must be:
Living under a rock
So,.. I pushed it. All the time, with no break. Anytime we saw each other we would start talking about these extremely heavy, exhausting PROBLEMS, ISSUES.
Isn’t that what we are supposed to do?
But they didn’t get any better. I realized that I was so drained, emotionally, mentally and physically, but
THE ISSUES STILL REMAINED.
I started to not feel particularly close to my hubby. I didn’t feel at all at peace. I didn’t feel full of energy, and I wasn’t noticing things I am grateful for.
Once we both discussed our feelings about all of this,
something magical happened.
We got a fuckin’ BRILLIANT idea. I think it’s the best we have had all year.
If talking about certain things is exhausting, and yet to some extent we still need to do it, why not create a schedule where it’s okay to do it in?
So here’s the deal: We decided that Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 5pm -6pm is our talk time about the difficult stuff.
NO MORE THAN THAT.
Can I even tell you what this has done to our lives! We have only been doing it for 5 days, and all ready I feel like a completely different person. I am lighter and happier and more joyful and so so grateful! I feel like I have my wonderful relationship back to where it was.
And I realized something else.
Before, I felt like if I WASN’T talking about the difficult stuff 24/7, then I was avoiding. But now, since there is a PLAN, a SYSTEM, I don’t feel that way at all!
I feel in control of my life.
So this situation reminded me that I am in control. It’s MY happiness, it’s MY joy, it’s MY life. I can make choices on when and who I want to discuss personal stuff with. And so far, I must say our schedule is
This weekend was unbelievably connecting and fun and playful and open and I am so in love. We gave ourselves a much needed EMOTIONAL BREAK! Yesssssssssssssss!!
Sooooo grateful for intuition!!
Happy Monday! xo