Focus Focus Focus

What if everything has the potential to work out if we stop focusing so hard on it?

I have sort of a funny example:

I’ve always disliked my arms. They were never the shape I wanted.

Through the years I started paying more and more attention to them until it became a total obsession.I was constantly thinking about them, and noticing other people’s arms that I was envious of.

Looking back, I can also see that my fixation caused me to assume that EVERYONE ELSE was also aware of my arms.

What is wrong with me?

Oh my gosh I look so horrible!

My arms are so noticeable and disgusting!

I found weight classes with the determination of getting them THE WAY I WANT THEM. I pushed myself to make this happen, but nothing seemed to be working!

The ARMS had become this HUGE problem.

I worked out even harder.

But still nothing happened.

About 4 months ago, I was peering at them, grabbing the areas I felt should be different, and I thought of something. If my arms suddenly WERE exactly what I wanted, how would my life be different?

Would I still do the same things?

Would I still have the same people in my life?

Would the same things still make me happy and sad and excited?

Yes. Of course, the answer was yes.

So…

Who cares?

I mean really, what if my arms are just the latest obsession that is keeping me from totally accepting myself, but they are fine? What if they are fine just the way they are. Can I love myself exactly as this, if they never do change?

I decided that yes, I can and I stopped thinking about them. I started sending them love when I saw them in the mirror, and being grateful they were getting so strong from all my weight exercises.

I stopped noticing the size.

 

The other day I was in the middle of my brutal yoga class and I happened to glimpse at my arms in the mirror. I realized that they were starting to take the shape I had always wanted. But I hadn’t even noticed!

As I examined them more closely that evening, I realized something else. It’s great they are toning up, it really is. And yet I don’t care nearly as much as I thought. Their size, their shape isn’t what determines my happiness.

So I was wondering, is this how it is in all areas of life? If we are super focused on something, and running in circles demanding it to BE DIFFERENT, do things suddenly change? After all that grueling work?

Or if we build up some sort of ideal into this fantasy that will make our LIVES BETTER AND MORE ENJOYABLE AND HAPPIER, is that ever true?

This was a great epiphany, because I’m involved in some heavy life stuff right now. Maybe instead of running in circles SEARCHING FOR THE ANSWER, I can surrender to what is, and LOVE who and what I am and who and what everyone else is that I am involved with.

Maybe this can create the space for miracles to occur.

 

 

I Am

I assisted in this incredible course over the weekend that has changed my life. Every time I do it, every time I’m spending my days surrounded with such strength and love, it changes me in huge ways.

One of the things that we did during the weekend was create I AM statements. I’d done them before, but it’s always a good reminder to keep them up.

The bottom line is this: Whatever we are or are not is our decision, not anyone else’s. So if we want to be seen a certain way, we can be, if we want to feel a certain way, we can. I used to think ‘I’m just not a confident person,’ or ‘I can’t stand up for myself, I wasn’t born that way.’ I can see now, that that is not a belief I want to continue. I can BE whatever I want to BE.

Anyway, here’s how to create these amazing I AM statements:

  • Pick 3 (or so) qualities you know you already have. Then pick 2 or 3 qualities that you’d like to bring into light more, or develop.
  • I prefer to mix them up in any order.

Here is my current list:

I am vibrant
I am confident
I am authentic
I am nurturing
I am trusting
I am passionate

This fresh list I will say out loud 100 times a day. Whenever I’ve gotten into the groove of doing my I AM messages, I feel myself growing and changing right before my eyes. Creating a new list every 2-3 months keeps me constantly becoming a better version of myself.

I use this as just another tool to keep myself feeling good as long as possible. Without tools, it’s so easy for me to feel unsupported and anxious. Ugh! I’d rather feel empowered and focused and full of joy.

Anyway, it’s a fun little game that will instantly bring a feeling of peace and yummy goodness. Try it if you’d like! If you do, I’d love to see how they go!

Have a wonderful Monday! xo

 

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