Creating a Life I love Through Art
I got this idea to make these tiny pieces using texture paste and acrylic paint. It’s so fun to see how some products mix with each other. It’s a totally different experience to paint on top of the paste and it creates sort of a hazy watercolored background. I am going to cut more of these pieces today to make small little universes like this.
Sheesh! It seems like every couple of months I realize that I am NOT moving through life the way I’d like, and I need to
START
OVER.
It’s one of those times right now.
It’s actually exciting though. Do you ever feel that way? I mean after feeling the disappointment and exhaustion and like you aren’t doing enough and like you’re NOT GOING ANYWHERE. After all that, there is this glimmer of excitement.
I get to start over.
Again and again. I don’t have to do things the way I’ve always done them!
I can CHOOSE another path.
I’ve realized through my life not just right now, that when things have gotten really hard, I have not only slowed down but stopped. I have a difficult time moving through the things I’m not comfortable with. I’m sure we are all that way to an extent, but in order for ANYTHING to happen the way we want, we need to be willing to do things that are HARD, UNCOMFORTABLE, SCARY.
So today, after years of whining and complaining about having to learn photoshop, I sat down, and fuckin learned some things I THOUGHT were going to be sooooo hard. And it’s 11am, and I’m feeling great. Hellooooooooooooo fear, I don’t need to listen to you. I don’t need to listen to the 16 year old part of me that expects everything to be easy or I don’t do it.
I am resilient, I am strong, I am brave. And I can totally kick ass. It’s my choice.
Wow! I am enjoying starting my week this way.
xo
I’ve had an interesting weekend. Actually, it’s been an interesting couple of weeks. Well, if I was REALLY honest, I’d have to say these past 5 months have been ridiculously stressful, interesting and full of twists and turns. It seems like everyday is filled with so many highs and lows. How can they possibly pack into one day???
It’s funny how certain times in our lives are like that. And then there could be years where it feels like there is hardly any movement at all.
In times of a lot of change, I used to be harsh on myself. Feeling like I needed to buckle down, push harder, do more. Being annoyed at myself that I was TIRED or ANGRY or SAD. And that I needed to SWALLOW those feelings down and push.
Now I am (FINALLY) realizing that the chaos is hard enough. Being mean to myself, or expecting so much of myself ends up not helping at all.
So I take a different approach.
I tell my body it is doing awesome. I breathe deeply. I sit in silence. I tell myself I know it’s been stressful and it’s going to all work out, I will be fine. I tell my heart that it is safe and that love surrounds me. I ask myself, “What do I need?” And I listen.
Then I take a nap.
Sometimes life is hard enough. We don’t need to make it worse. In order for me to see the gifts, I need to take care of myself first. Or I will miss all of them!
Sending you all love and light that you will take care of YOU first.
Working through it,
learning,
growing,
discovering,..
and then beginning to understand how it all fits together.
The things I did, the things I didn’t.
The parts I wanted to hide, the pieces I did hide for way too long.
It’s all part of the journey. The whole time I played with this piece I was thinking about that concept, and once again, coming to terms with my past.
So, that should probably be the title. 🙂 xo
What we send out into the world, always comes back. I have to remind myself of this when I am annoyed and angry and irritated or just hungry and tired. That’s not the reason for me to attempt to be the best version of myself, but it’s good for me to keep in mind. I’m working on feeling my feelings fully (and eating when I’m a total b****) so I can be present with showing up in a place of gratitude, joy, and kindness. And yet, I’m constantly seeing I need to forgive myself when I don’t do it the way I’d like.
Sending you all love, peace and harmony. May you have the desire to follow your own heart and the bravery to speak your truth.
If I were to paint passion, this is what it would look like.
I have realized lately that though I am creating what feels natural to me, I am craving more meaning. I love depth and so appreciate realizations and growth and change. I know, shocking isn’t it?
This piece is reminding me that I can have an intention for an emotion or feeling and create from there. Ah! This feels like passion, exploding, moving, exploring, vibrating.. Ah!
More and more I am enjoying creating what I naturally do inside my art journal, outside on paper. I know I’ve written a lot about this, but it’s still part of the process. I am realizing that by starting with the paint, I give it a chance to be the main focus. And the rest is play!
To keep myself in a playful creative dance, I’ve started doing these little 10 minute mini challenges. I will paint and draw whatever comes to mind, without thinking it through. It’s becoming a really fun way to play with what is there without the judgement.
Yessssssss! Trickin’ the system.
This is a little fluid piece that I was playing with in my art book. Like I mentioned before, I am making it a goal to incorporate more painting and pen play into the big pieces I am doing. It doesn’t make sense to have this fluid easy play in my art journal, and not just make these ideas into bigger pieces.
I think I still struggle sometimes with keeping the flow alive. Once I know I am ‘creating art,’ I tend to lock up a bit as if I’m afraid of making a mistake. However when I am PLAYING in my book, the fear of mistakes is gone.
So like I have said before, the only way out is through. That must mean I just need to make more WORK.
I know that my true voice is the voice that rings out in my moments of sheer joy, and total flow. So incorporating the parts the naturally show up when I’m not trying at all, is what I am aiming for.
My intention is to live my truest self, in my art and in all areas of life….
Sending you all love and light, and hope that you’re feeding your inner artist…..
xo Jax
Here is something new I’m working on. Ahhhh! I’m loving the process, enjoying the journey of delicious play!
This is on 18×24 paper, so I have a long way to go. Ahhhh
Sunshine and Cerulean 