I was chilling on my yoga mat on Saturday morning, right before class started. Heat began flooding into the room, and it was filling up with lots of fellow yogis.
There was a girl next to me minding her own business, like most of us. But something about her made me realize something.
Girls are so funny. I mean not all of them, but a good portion of us are. We tend to be so competitive. I know I have been. Wanting to be acknowledged by them, maybe seen as the best or better, wanting to prove something.
And yet, in this crazy world right now, with all these women’s marches, etc. it’s obvious we are craving more women connection.
But can we do it?
Maybe I’m speaking only for myself. I am very aware that some of my girlfriends (especially my sister in law) meet other women with a pure open heart. She’s warm and makes eye contact and is truly waiting to connect.
I say I want the same thing as well, and yet if I’m totally honest about myself right now, I don’t really put it out there to women I don’t already know. I think I probably still operate out of the fear of not being enough, so I don’t always make eye contact, or smile the way that I could. It hasn’t been my intention to put other people at ease. It’s not that I don’t care, but it’s just not on my mind. I have been more concerned with HOW I AM PERCEIVED.
Now that I really look at it, it makes me sad to be that way.
I know I can change this, but it makes me curious, where did it start?
I have heard that women have been competitive with other women since the beginning of time. When we were a bunch of hulking cave women and needed to make sure no other burly cave woman was going to steal our caveman. Maybe that’s true, or maybe it’s just been learned through society.
We all know the mean girls in school.
I was never one of those. In fact, I was the girl that would take a scared newbie under my wing, and invite them to sit with me. But I certainly had felt like I wasn’t good enough for certain girl groups, and that made me steer clear of many of them. Don’t girls gossip and one up each other? At least that was what I was used to, and I did attract some really mean ones for a long time.
I am sure many of you may have also gone through a bitchy gossipy stage like I did as well. It felt better (at the time) to put down other women then actually feel my own feelings about my inadequacies. That didn’t last long, and I’m definitely not there now.
Also, for some reason if I saw a girl that I thought was prettier than me or more talented, I have assumed that she was a snob or that she was really better than me. So I wouldn’t go out of my way to connect. This isn’t fair to her at all, and I want to change it.
What I would prefer is to NOT jump into a place of being competitive, or assuming that I’m not on someone’s level.
I want to be MORE open and loving, and ready to connect with all women, recognizing that no matter what someone looks like, they are still going through difficult things in their life that they don’t have answers to.
I want to remember that we aren’t all that different.
I want to fully invest in being a really awesome friend to all women, even ones that I will never be close to.
It’s my goal starting today to make eye contact with everyone, everywhere I go, and send them all love. I am going to be the one that smiles and says ‘hello’ first, and has compassion when someone doesn’t say it back. Because I get it. Females can be strange, but we have protected ourselves long enough. It’s time to have each other’s back.