Heart to Start

I was browsing through Amazon about a week ago and saw some great reviews for this book called Heart to Start by David Kadavy. At first glance I was thinking maybe it would only be for people that just couldn’t start AT ALL. But I decided to purchase it anyway, trusting that there were probably going to be plenty of things for me to learn.

He mentioned that adults have a hard time ‘being curious’ because we all feel that once we learn something we need to monetize it. And yet, by him BEING CURIOUS and learning all that he was naturally interested in, he was able to write books and CREATE based on combining his interests! I love that he shared this! Just hearing another artist talk about ‘all their interests’ suddenly made me take a deep breath.

I have a lot of interests.

I always have, I have always been FASCINATED by life.

And yet, in my attempt to ‘not be the crazy artist lady with all kinds of random hobbies and interests,’ I have swallowed them down and decided only to paint. It’s hard sometimes because I can get lost in making art. It soothes my soul, it makes me feel.

However.
What about all the other things I am curious about?

What David wrote snapped me out of it.

What if I am exactly as I am supposed to be?
What if I can create with all of my interests combined?
What if that is WHAT makes me unique and genuine and authentic, the way I want to be?

I am sure Kadavy’s desire was to share this tiny lesson for those of us that have judged our innate curiosity, and for that I am so grateful.  I feel so free, and I have started creating a calendar of adding new interests to it.
If you’re interested in getting started in new ways with passion and drive and fun, check out his book. I am already starting some of his handy tips and they are WORKING.

Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

If It Feels Right

if it feels right quote

This quote is exactly what I needed to hear! My intuition is telling me of something I no longer need, and yet I am fighting it.

I don’t want to feel like I am giving up.
I don’t want to feel like I am a quitter.

But this quote reminds me to check in.

If it doesn’t feel right, I can move forward without it.
Even if my intentions were that this was going to help others, and be amazing. If it’s not and I am drained from it, it’s not right. I did nothing wrong in the creation of it, but that doesn’t mean I need to stick around. This may be here just to myself that the universe is so ready to help me create exactly what I want.

My creativity is boundless, and it is leading me to all the lessons and the learning. And I can start over any time I choose and find another path.

Your Musts

I was listening to Tony Robbins the other day….

Okay lemee explain. First of all I’ve KNOWN about Tony Robbins for years. All I knew about him what that he is this huge loud dude that resembles a G.I. Joe. But I’ve been looking for a bit of inspiration lately, I thought I would broaden my horizons.

Normally I love a little Abraham Hicks in my life, but you know, it’s easy to get complacent and it’s nice to veer down other paths.

I’ve set GOALS for a long time, and unfortunately have a difficult time sticking to them. I want to move forward, I want to look back and FEEL like I’ve accomplished. And yet, that has been an area I’ve really struggled with in my life. I used to not finish art pieces like I know I’ve written about before. Now I do that, but there are so many awesome ideas I have where I don’t have a PLAN, and they end up never getting created.

Anyway, I turned Tony on, and though he is a bit loud and pushy for my taste, there was some great nuggets that I can try for transformation.

One of the things I heard was that we don’t get our goals, we get our MUSTS. He says that if we just ‘set goals,’ it’s easy to not follow through. But if we really ask ourselves what we MUST do, then we will find a way.

Woa.

Like you guys have heard me mention a 1000 times, it’s much easier for me to spend all my time and energy choosing things that can help the kids, or even Andy. It’s much easier to do all of that then to
CHOOSE JACKIE. 

But at the end of the day, what are my MUSTS? 

I don’t want to look back at my life and see that I ONLY did a lot of the kids and others that I love but that I NEVER fully lived to MY POTENTIAL.
I know I have a whole world of things inside me to create,
and be
and do.

It’s my JOB, it’s my DUTY to do them.

So those have to be my MUSTS.

What are you here to do that you haven’t been doing???

I realized that if I can picture myself as a little girl, it’s easier to show up for me. The little girl with the dark eyes and the super chubby cheeks.

I’m not going to let her down.

I MUST create,

I MUST allow my creativity to flourish.
For her,
for me.

So what do you guys think? Does goal setting work for you? What do you think about the concept of getting our MUSTS? I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts as well!

xo Jax

 

 

Intention

I know, it’s been forever since I’ve written on this blog. The last couple of weeks have been extremely stressful, and I’ve gone back to the basics, meditation and making art. Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough. Enough marketing! Enough working on my website! Enough learning Photoshop. But honestly, I am slowly learning that getting myself into a good place is more important than writing on this, or sending my art out into social media. I just need to reclaim Jackie, and I know how to do it.

Anyway, this is a piece I made while thinking of the concept of ‘Intention.’ The way a direction, an intention moves through us, sinking into our reality. This is what happened when I painted intention. I appreciate the movement of it and the way it feels like it’s burrowing into something, planting. These current pieces I’m working on are showcasing the paint instead of letting the pen stand out. I feel like my style is coming out of this. ah!

This was so much fun and I can’t wait to create more based on feelings and affirmations I want to experience more in my life. YEsssssssssssssss

Passion

If I were to paint passion, this is what it would look like.

I have realized lately that though I am creating what feels natural to me, I am craving more meaning. I love depth and so appreciate realizations and growth and change. I know, shocking isn’t it?

This piece is reminding me that I can have an intention for an emotion or feeling and create from there. Ah! This feels like passion, exploding, moving, exploring, vibrating.. Ah!

Making Art

Sometimes it’s like crawling into a dark cave that I’ve found. I have my backpack and flashlight, and I’m totally by myself. I am elated! My heart pumping, my hands a little shaky, my body is buzzing with electricity. I can literally taste this journey! Ahhh!!

After awhile of joyfully exploring, my flashlight suddenly goes out and I am alone in the dark. The darkness is unexpected. I don’t know why it always is, but it is. At first, it’s fine. My heart skips a beat, but then I calm. I am sure it was just a small mishap.

But the light doesn’t go back on, and panic consumes me. Instead of allowing it to bleed through me, I fight it. I bang my flashlight against the wall, I jump up and down screaming for help. But nothing happens. I am alone.

After a bit, I start to walk forward with no light. The excitement of a new creation, of discovering a hidden world has been put on hold, because it’s all about survival now. I can’t see one foot in front of me, so every step is a moment of trust.

I survived. I am still here, but I’m growing tired. I long for a piece of clarity, a tiny aha moment, maybe an ounce of belief. As I rub my eyes, a dim light slowly begins simmering through the flashlight.

I can see! I can see! Even if it’s vague and diluted, it’s there!

My heart starts beating faster and faster as I fill with relief and then joy and finally passion. This unbelievable passion. I galloping in the darkened cave.

“I can do anything,” I whisper as tears sting my eyes.

It’s like everything in the world is making sense. I can do this! I feel my mind sharpening and my body is electric. Everything is right, everything is beautiful. The cave walls seem to shine with iridescent colors, beckoning me to continue.

But suddenly the light goes out again.

What? This can’t be! I knew where I was going! What happened?

“Okay Jackie you can do this, you did it before.” I say out loud. And then I wait, expecting the light to go on. But it doesn’t.

So I trudge forward once again, deep in the blackness, holding the walls to keep myself from falling.

Now this is the part where I used to sit down in the cave waiting for death, or if I wasn’t too far in, I’d turn around and go back home.

This is again where it is scary and uncomfortable.

But I’m not leaving this time.

When I close my eyes, for a split second, I saw the end of the tunnel! I swear it was there, lit up with warmth. I need to keep moving forward until I see it for real.

The light will go on again to guide me, right?
If so, when?

Regardless,… I will keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other. Focusing on the image in my head, stamped on my heart. I can follow that.

I can trust what I see inside.

Something New

Here is something new I’m working on. Ahhhh! I’m loving the process, enjoying the journey of delicious play!

This is on 18×24 paper, so I have a long way to go. Ahhhh

 

Picasso

Love this, and it’s so true. I guess that’s what our job is as an artist. Have an idea, and allow it to take it’s own shape and become what it is here to become….

Me Being Me

Wow. My head is literally bursting with so many ideas of new things I want to create and try and experiment with, and FEEL! I am jotting down notes and sketches constantly but am having trouble keeping up!

Though I am consistently inspired by life and everything in it, I sometimes forget that what I create naturally, without even thinking, IS my true nature, and IT. IS. ENOUGH. I AM ENOUGH.

It seems like the human condition is the fear that we aren’t enough exactly as who we are. This inner belief that life SHOULD be a struggle, life SHOULD be hard, and if it’s not, well, then… we are just LAZY.

This is how I have felt about art (among everything else in my life). If I wasn’t IN PAIN while working, and so confused and anguished about the project, I would discount it. That’s why a lot of my work wasn’t ‘my work,’ it was stupid little mindless doodles that I couldn’t stop. I convinced myself to feel ashamed that I NEEDED to draw, to create. And that because I feel relaxed and full of joy when the pen takes over and my head stops thinking, that must mean… I AM LAZY and my creations are a waste of time.

So I am starting out this year, aware of my past beliefs related to struggle and ease. I’m going to allow myself to be in utter bliss creating what naturally comes from me, where I don’t think at all about the outcome. I am going to do it without judgement. Maybe this is art as well…. Me being me, just like it is for you to be fully and truthfully and unswayingly YOU.

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