In the doodling spirit, here is another piece that is just about done. I am in absolute bliss adding color to my silly doodles. Ahhhh
Almost Finished
Flow joe mo so low
I am just so fantastically overjoyed to be creating what is naturally flowing from me. For probably the first time in my life I am embracing what I yearn to do without feeling like I need to be different. Ahhhh!
As I create this piece that feels aerial and yet deeply connected, I am reminded of what I truly value in life. Connection, always connection, and remembering that though we are on our unique journey, we are divinely connected. Who I am is because of all the pieces of friends and lovers and strangers and past experiences, both joyful and tragic.
Though it can feel lonely, we are never alone on this voyage. We are a constantly evolving, forever metamorphosing, conglomeration of everything we have ever thought, felt, fought against, cried about, spoke up for, breathed, loved, and surrendered to.
This piece feels like movement and flow and deliciousness. Ah!
In Process
Here is a piece I am in the middle of working on. I did this one a little different, and started drawing with the color first. It’s so much fun and my hand is lusciously cramping… Ahhhhh I love feeling it in my body.
Is it really art if I’m just allowing my hand to create without my head?
I’ll post it when it’s finished! xo
New Life
Here’s the reality,… I am starting to own more of WHO I am. All of me: the parts that are uncomfortable being seen, the moments where I want to cry but I don’t know why, the pieces that feel super insecure and awkward, the times when I get a sliver of knowing why I am here and WHAT I have to offer…. all of it. This is one demonstration of it: I sat down with colors in my right hand, and a buzzing alert black pen in my left. This is usually when I stifle myself. This is usually when I feel stupid and childlike and don’t see myself as anything else,… but this time I let myself create. I let myself be who I am naturally, without once pausing to see if it it was okay or right or enough. I just let color and lines and life and flow pour out of me, and I wanted to cry.
Why Why do we make life so much harder than we need to?
This is me fully and completely, naturally. Without wishing I was more or more subtle or different. This is me in all my loud passion and my delicious quiet. This is me weeping with colors and dancing with rhythms. This is the part of me that always seemed wrong or bad, and still took up space, even when I wish it hadn’t.
This is what is real.
This is me.
Me Being Me
Wow. My head is literally bursting with so many ideas of new things I want to create and try and experiment with, and FEEL! I am jotting down notes and sketches constantly but am having trouble keeping up!
Though I am consistently inspired by life and everything in it, I sometimes forget that what I create naturally, without even thinking, IS my true nature, and IT. IS. ENOUGH. I AM ENOUGH.
It seems like the human condition is the fear that we aren’t enough exactly as who we are. This inner belief that life SHOULD be a struggle, life SHOULD be hard, and if it’s not, well, then… we are just LAZY.
This is how I have felt about art (among everything else in my life). If I wasn’t IN PAIN while working, and so confused and anguished about the project, I would discount it. That’s why a lot of my work wasn’t ‘my work,’ it was stupid little mindless doodles that I couldn’t stop. I convinced myself to feel ashamed that I NEEDED to draw, to create. And that because I feel relaxed and full of joy when the pen takes over and my head stops thinking, that must mean… I AM LAZY and my creations are a waste of time.
So I am starting out this year, aware of my past beliefs related to struggle and ease. I’m going to allow myself to be in utter bliss creating what naturally comes from me, where I don’t think at all about the outcome. I am going to do it without judgement. Maybe this is art as well…. Me being me, just like it is for you to be fully and truthfully and unswayingly YOU.
Between the lines
I’m really, really enjoying this new piece I’ve been working on. I’m constantly fascinated by aerial views of the world. The way large things can seem so small, and this piece reflects a bit of that. I also played with the concept of connection. How no matter who we are as humans, we effect each other, no matter way, just like these drips of paint. I guess what was different with this piece for me is that much of it was made by scribbling wet paint onto the paper, letting it dry, and then using the way the paint naturally moves to create the work. I love that much more than constantly manipulating something. Trusting the paint to move through the cracks and create art was really interesting for me. I was surprised by the amazing amount of shapes that happened organically when I let myself just play and be messy.
Ah! I am buzzing with so much joy in creating this. Even though I am near the end, I am a little sad. I’ve loved connecting to it as we have created together.
Ahhhhh
Sending everyone love for a great weekend!
xo
Microscopic Universe
I know I’ve written before about wanting to create pieces that feel more fluid, like what I do in my art journal. This one, I am grateful, is moving towards where I naturally am when I am just creating, just feeling, just being.
I played around with using bits of tissue and wet pen to create some of the look over acrylic paint. Ahhhhh! I want to create more pieces like this that feel loose and easy and wild and open and full of play! The key is feeling that while I am doing them….
Without My Art Journal
Like I mentioned at the beginning of the year, my art journal is a bit of a safety net for me. I feel SAFE taking risks on it. It’s fluid and playful and scribbling and messy and yet I get a chance to be a bit daring and then I can close the book and no one has to look at it.
I’ve known for a long time that the freedom I feel from ‘playing’ as I call it, in my art journal NEEDS to come out on actual pieces. If I want to show anything ever, I would like to be more comfortable with myself so that I can just make something without the journal. Something that has the same playful, effortless feel as working in that book.
It’s starting to get easier.
Lately I’ve been in the middle of a lot of little things OUTSIDE of the art journal. Yessss. This one I started out a bit cautiously. I could feel the apprehension building in my hands and arms as I worked. But when I have my art journal open close by, I’m reminded that I can create, I am an artist, and I just need to trust and relax. The more I worked, the more I began listening to those little intuitive hits that always bubble up when I’m working in the journal. I began relaxing into it. It felt so amazing to conquer that! I can feel easy and light no matter what or how I am creating. I can feel confident about myself and what I am doing. Ahhhh!
Ah! So so so appreciative of all the ideas that are spilling over in my brain. I am loving experiencing each and every one of them!
Sending you all love and joy on your creative journey!
Supa Fine Canvases, Finally!
Years ago I thought about having a surface where I could do my tiny little drawings on as well as some acrylic painting. I don’t like painting on canvas without gessoing the hell out of it, because lots of canvas texture just isn’t my thing. I thought about it, and maybe did a little thinking, but I wasn’t prepared to figure it out.
Anyway, this time I decided to figure it out only now I am much more patient and curious. I decided to glue a pretty thick mixed media paper to the canvas. After lots of trial and error, and starting over 5-6 times, but I got it to work seamlessly! Ha!!! It’s stuck to the canvas with no bubbles, and the edges have been covered in white texture paste to hide the paper seam. Though it’s not quite finished, it’s only taken a couple of hours and will be done in no time. Ahhhhhhh!
Now I can work on canvases of all shapes and sized with soft deliciously fine paper over the top! Yesssssssssssssss!
Doodle Ideas
I’ve been leafing through my art journal for inspiration for painting this gaga pit. Here are a couple of ideas that I’m going to springboard off of for the project. I love to draw with tiny black pens, but I’ll be PAINTING instead. Not just painting, but LARGE AND IN CHARGE PAINTING. Can I do it? Hmmmm Actually having some ideas helps me wrap my head around the project.
Yes, I can do this. Breathe Jackie.
Sunshine and Cerulean 